Looking in Mirrors

Once upon a time I was a runner. I was never incredibly fast. I never travelled faster than a speeding bullet or leaped tall buildings in a single bound - but I enjoyed running. For many reasons I stopped (and started and stopped) running, even jogging (which is/was a more accurate description). Unfortunately my body thinks I still burn off the calories and that increased rate and that glutton inside myself has not told my body. In fact (as in pregnancy) I am eating for two - Chris the runner and Chris the couch potato - and it makes the thought of trying to change these habits harder. I now weigh 16 stone 4 pounds. At my pre-Transplant running weight (1993) I weighed 10 stone 8 (1 stone underweight as befits the serious runner). I would like to get to 11 stone.

Therefore I advertise my intention here. From the 1st of October I am deciding to diet, to exercise, and to stop biting my nails. I have taken that ultimate deterrent ; the semi-naked body picture of the Before (posed frontally and in profile) and it is not a pleasant sight. [Don't panic I have no desire to put it online]. I hope to take an After (the diet) picture that will allow my self-image to recover. I will keep a food diary and an exercise log and will record either my progress or the lack of it. In my high mileage days one of those books written to inspire and encourage me used to suggest that the runner should check in shop windows to watch his form. This means that I would be leaning slightly forwards not backwards, that my arms were carried low, with hands loose rather than clenched into fists. That my arms moved forwards and backwards as opposed to crossing my chest and restricting my breathing. Finally that my face was relaxed and preferably smiling. The image in my mind was the slow motion image of Steve Austin (the 6 million dollar man) striding through the city - the slow motion interestingly conveying the notion of high speed athleticism.

In reality I found recently that I do actually move in slow motion (but not cinematically) and that my face, rather than being illuminated by a smile is contorted into a grimace, a rictus of pain. I convey nothing but an image of a fat plodding potential heart attack victim out tempting fate. I will need to tell myself that it will get easier in time and that simply taking exercise carefully and slowly is at least a beginning. It is the ASICS slogan that stands for "Anima Sana in Corpore Sano" (a sound mind in a sound body) that leads me to this optimistic frame of mind; rejoicing in the interconnectedness of my fitness with other elements of my life. In the past running has worked for me for many reasons, especially as a form of meditation and I hope it can do once again. If you see a lonely figure trudging along Rivelin Valley Road or around Damflask please feel free to lend encouragement. This man is trying to make a start, to fight the ravages of time and age and their pressures weighing on his much-maligned body.