Approaching Resolution....

Kneeling meekly, settled on our sofas and watching Strictly Come Bloating We approach the season of Celebrations, dedicated to the patron saint of corpulence; St. Slimfast and the divine message of conspicuous and abundant consumption, we prepare to initially destroy our bodies and then decide (really, really decide) to transform them into the strong, sculpted and toned Godlike physiques we know that are lurking under all that pale white flab. This is the time of resolution. The time when the diary can assume an even greater significance because it demonstrates most clearly both our strengths and our weaknesses, our successes and our failures.

Last year I bought a five-year diary with each page having five spaces on it in order to give (at the end of the demi-decade) a comparative perspective of the changes both physically, mentally and spiritually which I had achieved. 2007 was to be the start of what the Russians called a five-year plan. At the very least, I honestly believed it would recall my running times and the evidence of my fight against the evils of fatbastarditis.However and unfortunately the shameful history of 2007 (so far) are the details of a paltry, puny five runs; [in miles] 0.4, 0.4, 0.61, 1.725 and 0.4 - a magnificent total of 3.535 miles. Yes, my capacity for statistical analysis is still burning powerfully even if my motivation is cooling. However with the rationalisation of the upcoming resolution period I tell myself if I NOW start training seriously I would still never be able to meaningfully alter those statistics anyway. I tell myself they would serve better as a benchmark of indignity and having confessed (here, now, in public) I will swear to do better next year. Like writing a diary for the first week in January and then giving up I will dedicatedly and determinedly fight through to at least March. In fact having never started my five-year diary last year at all I can make 2008 the new beginning of the five-year plan and with similar skills to those Soviet apparatchiks who designed such plans in the first place I can rewrite history to fit a complete new set of facts.

Optimistically then I foresee an immediately successful year. Indeed I can probably do more mileage in one run (relatively easily) than the whole of 2007 (perhaps with a lie-down after). So 2008 will be a better running year than 2007.Additionally If I finish one drawing or painting in 2008 which I am pleased with (enough to keep) that will also be an improvement. The truth is that my expectations are so incredibly low (to match my running incredibly slow) that the future is rosy or rose-tinted at least. In the year 2008 I will be 50. England expects everyman to do his duty and I expect to do better. I expect to do more, and I expect to do it faster. I speak these words as I write them with the solemn catechismal pronunciation of the new believer - with a faith-restored and belief-bolstered conviction that things can only get better. [cue music and lights]......